supplies!

What do you do when confronted with the most glorious of rattails? How do you handle yourself? Yesterday I had the pleasure of following one across campus. It was 8 in the morning and I wasn't expecting something so wonderful at a time of day when society wants me to retain consciousness (but I simply cannot). But then, all of the sudden, growing out of the back of a rather preppy asian boy's head was this rattail. About two feet long, tied with a golden thread, and contrasted beautifully by the buzzed length of the rest of the kid's hair, was the highlight of my day life week. I didn't know how to conduct myself. I wanted to touch it, braid it, drape it across my upper lip and pretend it was a mustache. I wondered if I should introduce myself to it's owner, shake his hand, ask him what his inspiration was. In all other respects, he did not appear to be the rattail-sporting type, which only increased the 'tail's glory. I wondered if he had been heavily influenced by 'Til Tuesday, and when listening to "Voices Carry" on repeat as a young teen he had vowed to grow the mosT illustrious rattail since Aimee Mann. Well sir, let me be the first to say it: you put her to shame. This 'tail had a history behind it, and I wanted to know it. However, I don't talk to strangers, so the Tail Of Wonder shall remain a mystery to me and all those who have the privelege of walking a socially-unacceptable distance behind it on their way to class.

When I see someone who was clearly born in the wrong decade, I have the overwhelming urge to hug them and whisper in their ear "we are kindred spirits," then moonwalk away.